the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
