batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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