I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize