How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
