OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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