margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
