dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize