Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
