Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
