Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
