pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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