How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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