it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
