belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
