mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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