yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
The power of my boobs compel you
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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