You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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