I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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