Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I think a kid would responsible me up
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
