I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
