I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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