I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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