why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
