I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
