This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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