Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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