I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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