Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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