And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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