Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
