Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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