I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
