Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
