I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Dicks are not precious.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
