my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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