This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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