we're chasing vodka with high fives
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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