my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
