Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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