He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
