In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
