that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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