Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
