I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
