There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
