I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
