I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
