rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
