She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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