I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
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