just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
