If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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