He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
