He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
