No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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