party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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