I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
