Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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