drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
