That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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