do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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