There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
