Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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